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parenting

Dads: A Love Letter to Fathers

June 21, 2020 by Steve Norton Leave a Comment

Dads don’t always get a lot of good press these days.

At a time when important conversations about toxic masculinity dominate the news and absentee and abusive fathers have become common, men have become better known for their sins than their strengths. From acts of violence to abuse of their authority, the nightly news features the latest examples of how men have lost sight of what it means to be a positive influence.

Thankfully, Dads, the new documentary by Bryce Dallas Howard, wants to tell us another story.

In her directorial debut, Howard takes the opportunity to explore modern fatherhood and celebrate those men who want to leave a positive mark on the lives of their children. Beginning with personal stories about her own famous father, Howard clearly wants Dads to be a love letter to fathers who remain dedicated to their families. Juxtaposing the testimonials of such celebrity parents as Will Smith, Neil Patrick Harris, Kim Jeong, Hasan Minhaj and many others with the stories of everyday families around the world, Howard recognizes the successes, challenges and failures that dads experience as they attempt to navigate the world of contemporary parenting.

Charming and engaging, Howard’s doc balances its voice effectively by showcasing men of different races, sexualities and social status in order to offer a variety of perspectives on fatherhood and the male experience. In doing so, Howard brings to light many of the common experiences of these men who want their children to be healthy and feel loved. Though their circumstances differ, each of the men featured in Howard’s doc hold the responsibility of parenthood firmly in view as they struggle to navigate the challenges of raising children. Whether they are breaking stereotypes as stay-at-home fathers or looking to maintain a work-life balance, each testimonial speaks to the sacrifices that these men are willing to make for the sake of their child’s emotional or physical health. While none of these men suggest their own perfection, each one speaks to the depth of their commitment to their families, despite their anxieties about their role as parents.

In fact, it’s the film’s openness about paternal insecurities that gives Dads its emotional weight. While the film offers numerous success stories about what it means to be a committed parent, the openness of her subjects and interviews serves as a reminder that fatherhood is often riddled with feelings of inadequacy. Regardless of their situation, each man openly expresses the fears and frustrations of attempting to navigate the trials of raising children ‘without a manual’. Though every father featured adores their family, they all confess to feeling insufficient in their role, unsure of whether or not they actually measure up as a parent. (In fact, in one particularly honest moment, Minhaj even points out that his greatest question is whether it’s actually he or his children that are the ones that truly decide the quality of his parenting.) 

By giving voice to their parental insecurities, Howard recognizes the humanity of the men that have influenced our lives. Highlighting their brokenness, the true beauty of Dads is that it paints these men with a loving brush of grace as a reminder that their role matters in the lives of their children. For Howard, the point is not to depict these men as faultless but rather serve as a reminder of the love that drives so many fathers, despite their imperfections. (After all, doesn’t love cover a multitude of sins?) In this way, Howards portrays her subjects as examples of commitment and courage, regardless of their situations or flaws.

While Dads contains very few ‘revelations’ about parenting, it’s clear from the outset that this is never the intent of the film. Instead, Howard’s debut is meant to be ‘thank you card’ to fathers of all types that reveals what goes on in their minds, whether it be their reactions when they first meet their child to dealing with feelings of failure. As a result, Dads is an emotionally powerful celebration of the imperfect men in our lives and their impact upon us all.

Dads is available to stream on Apple TV+ now.

Filed Under: AppleTV+, Featured, Film, Reviews, TIFF Tagged With: AppleTV+, Bryce Dallas Howard, Dads, Father's Day, Judd Apatow, Kim Jeong, Neil Patrick Harris, parenting, Patton Oswald, Ron Howard, Will Smith

Incredibles 2 – Family Bonds

June 14, 2018 by Darrel Manson Leave a Comment

Incredibles 2 continues the story of the Parr family from The Incredibles. While it is ostensibly a superhero story, at its heart this is a film about family and especially about parenting as children go through all the changes of growing up.

As in the original, superheroes are still illegal, but with the supervillain The Underminer on the loose, the family of superheroes goes into action—rather heavy-handedly, creating a mess of the city and being relocated. Forced to live in a motel, the family tries to think about what the future will hold for them. The parents, Bob, aka Mr. Incredible (voiced by Craig T. Nelson), and Helen, aka Elastigirl (Holly Hunter), know that one of them will need to get a job to support the family. Meanwhile, their middle school aged daughter Violet (Sarah Vowell) is attracted to a boy at school, son Dash (Huckleberry Milner) struggles with his homework, and toddler Jack-Jack is a handful just in himself.

But Mr. Incredible, Elastigirl, and their friend Frozone (Samuel L. Jackson) get an offer from industrialist siblings Winston and Evelyn Deavor (Bob Odenkirk and Catherine Keener). They want to improve the world’s opinion of superheroes and make them legal again. Their plan is to use Elastigirl to stop some crimes (she does far less damage in the process that Mr. Incredible or Frozone). So Helen goes off to the big city while Bob stays home with the kids.

It turns out that Bob is a stereotypical incompetent father. He tries, but he can’t grasp new math, has no idea how to help Violet with the boys, and Jack-Jack is impossible to get down for the night. Plus, Jack-Jack now is manifesting his own superpowers—a wide array of powers.

Helen is busy doing battle with The Screenslaver, a villain who uses screen (TV, computer, whatever) to hypnotize people and have them do his will. She feels bad that she isn’t with her family, but relishes the opportunity so show off her skills. It’s not unlike the juggling of priorities that many parents experience. But when The Screenslaver gets the upper hand, Bob and the kids head off to save the day and the world (mostly it’s the kids, including Jack-Jack, that get their parents out of hot water).

What is charming about the Incredibles films is that they give us a chance to see superheroes who aren’t sullen loners, but rather people with happy family lives—happy even when the going is hard. The film, I think, allows parents to be reminded that the job they do matters.  As the diminutive designer to the superheroes Edna Mode (Brad Bird) says, “Done properly, parenting is a heroic task.” As Bob mopes about being left out while Helen is fighting crime, this is a reminder of what the really hard job is. Parents aren’t gifted with super strength and powers—only with the love they have for their children. With that, parents face years of problems but also years of joy.

For the Parrs, a family where everyone has special powers, what really ties them together is not being strong, fast, elastic, invisible, or having lasers shooting out of their eyes. The connection they have is really the bond that can exist in the families of all those who go to watch the movie together.

Let me also put in a word here for Bao, the short directed by Domee Shi (the first woman to direct a Pixar film), playing along with Incredibles 2. It is a delightful story of a woman whose handmade dumpling comes to life. We watch as she and the dumpling go through the years. The dumpling passes through all the phases of childhood and into being a young adult. It is hard for the woman to let go of her baby dumpling, but in the end, we see just how wonderful it is to see your child grow into an adult.

Photos courtesy of Walt Disney Studios

Filed Under: Film, Reviews Tagged With: animated, animated short, Bob Odenkirk, Brad Bird, Catherine Keener, Craig T. Nelson, Disney, Family, Holly Hunter, Huckleberry Milner, parenting, Pixar, Samuel L. Jackson, Sarah Vowell, superheroes

Goodbye Christopher Robin: Parenting 101

October 12, 2017 by J. Alan Sharrer Leave a Comment

Photo by David Appleby. © 2017 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation All Rights Reserved

Recently, Winnie the Pooh was selected as the most popular children’s book of all time.  The lovable characters of the Hundred Acre Wood—Piglet, Tigger, Owl, Kanga, Roo, and of course Pooh Bear—have become ingrained in the imaginations of children and adults worldwide.  But there is an intriguing backstory to the whole phenomenon.  Director Simon Curtis (David Copperfield, Woman in Gold) brings this story to the table in the form of Goodbye Christopher Robin.  If you’re expecting a warm and cuddly film that causes you to walk out of the theater with a bunch of warm fuzzies, think again.  Rather, Goodbye Christopher Robin is a sadly cautionary tale of why the innocence and wonder of childhood should never be sacrificed on the altars of prestige and popularity.

Alan Milne (Domhnall Gleason), known to his close buddies as Blue, is a talented playwright on the East End of London around 1920.  However, he was part of WWI and his PTSD has caused him to stop writing, to the chagrin of his wife Daphne (Margot Robbie), who’s beautiful on the outside and not-so-beautiful inside. To avoid the issues of his disorder, he moves to the countryside but finds the writing still isn’t happening.  The Milnes have one child, Christopher Robin (known to his family as Billy Moon and played in the film by Will Tilston [later by Alex Lawther]), who lives an odd yet sad life.  He is taken care of by his nanny Olive (Kelly MacDonald), but is held at arm’s length by Alan and Daphne, who are affluent and not afraid to head out to a spectacular ball from time to time.  Christopher must also deal with random bouts of Alan’s PTSD that flare up, causing him to be somewhat timid around them.

When Daphne gets tired of Alan’s writer’s block and desire to wrote about the effects of war, she leaves him until he gets something accomplished.  Olive is gone as well, so he’s left in an awkward place attempting to care for his son.  Alan discovers that his son may not be as bad as first thought and joins Christopher Robin as he plays with his teddy bear and other stuffed animals in the woods behind their home. When Christopher asks him to write him a children’s story, Alan balks.  But he gets an idea and writes a poem called Vespers about his son saying his prayers with Olive.  When Daphne returns, she informs him that his work was published in Vanity Fair and hands him a check. Spurred by this, he creates a book about his son’s adventures with the living stuffed animals.  It sells like hotcakes, and the rest is history.

Photo by David Appleby. © 2017 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation All Rights Reserved

But there’s more to the story.  Alan and Daphne see the book’s success and come up with marketing ideas to get the work out even more.  Sadly, they all involve the exploitation of Christopher.  In one scene, Christopher visits a toy store and is greeted by the manager, then two doors to the outside are opened, where hundreds of screaming fans are awaiting his arrival paired with a few little girls seated at a table ready to have tea with the child.  It was part of a contest and Christopher’s reaction is simply heartbreaking.  He just doesn’t understand; he wants to live an ordinary life but it simply won’t happen.  Even a simple phone call to dad becomes part of a radio show to tout the book.  Alan finally gets the picture and puts him in a boarding school to avoid the masses.  You can guess how that turns out.

Photo by Ben Smithard. © 2017 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation All Rights Reserved

Eventually, Christopher forces his dad to let him enlist in the army during WWII so he can become anonymous for a while.  Only after Olive lights up the Milnes and Christopher shares his feelings with Alan does his father realize that he’s made some really bad mistakes.  But is there still time for it to be corrected before the train whisks him to the front lines and harm’s way?

Goodbye Christopher Robin is quite depressing, but it only works because of the hand of Simon Curtis. With a lighter hand, the tale develops into a farce; a heavier hand renders it unwatchable. The acting is good for the most part, though Daphne is a one-note character and gets an ending she really doesn’t deserve. Of course, the gorgeous cinematography of the English countryside brings to mind any number of films such as Finding Neverland.

However, the main point of the film involves good parenting.  In Proverbs, we find the adage “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov 22:6 NASB). Spending time with one’s children is important, getting to know and appreciate them for who they are, not who they might become. We can have fantastic dreams and plans for our offspring, but forcing the hand tends to make them resentful and reactionary in due time. Likewise, using them as a way to further our personal careers is akin to abuse—just not in a physical manner. Children are gifts that should be treated as such—with love, care, correction, and encouragement to be all God wants them to be. They tend to prosper under that environment.  But even if it seems like all hope is lost is relating to our children, it may not. We must learn to communicate with them and keep the lines open. Parenting is difficult work, no doubt about it.  But it can produce the greatest rewards—rewards no bestseller can ever hope to accomplish.

Filed Under: Film, Reviews Tagged With: AA Milne, Alex Lawther, Domnhall Gleason, Exploitation, Goodbye Christopher Robin, Kelly MacDonald, London, Margot Robbie, parenting, Simon Curtis, Will Tilston, Winnie the Pooh

3.3 Who is THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN?

October 23, 2016 by Steve Norton 2 Comments

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https://screenfish.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/3.3-Girl-on-a-Train.mp3

This week, the Norton boys (Jason and Steve) punch their ticket with THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN. How do we define who we are? Does the ‘perfect relationship’ really exist? Can Steve tell the difference between methods of transportation? All this and more, only on ScreenFish.

Want to continue to conversation at home?  Click the link below to download ‘Fishing for More’ — some small group questions for you to bring to those in your area.

3-3-girl-on-a-train

A special thanks to our Screamfish writer, Jason Norton for joining us!

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Filed Under: Film, Podcast, Reviews Tagged With: book, Emily Blunt, Faith, film, Gone Girl, identity, Justin Theroux, marriage, parenting, The Girl on the Train, thriller

Captain Fantastic – A Good Father?

August 1, 2016 by Darrel Manson Leave a Comment

“We are defined by our actions, not our words.”

What does it mean to be a good parent? Is it doing what you can so the child is ready for the world? What if you think society is by and large a failure? Can you teach your children to be “philosopher kings” by stepping away from all the flaws of the everyday world? The family we see in Captain Fantastic may seem to be a brilliant experiment—or it may seem to be a form of child abuse. How do we decide how to think about this family?

CAPTAIN FANTASTIC

Ben Cash (Viggo Mortensen) is raising his six children off the grid in the Pacific Northwest. For the last ten years they have hunted and raised their own food. They exercise daily. They learn to protect themselves, read and discuss. In some ways these children are advanced far beyond others their age. But they have no social interaction outside the family. Ben has been raising them alone for the last three months while his wife has been in the hospital dealing with mental illness. After she dies, Ben’s father-in-law (Frank Langella) is angry, banning Ben from the funeral. Ben and the children load up their bus and head to New Mexico in spite of the threats. For the younger children, this is the first experience of the outside world. It is a challenge for them, and at times for Ben, as they encounter all the things they have avoided through the years.

The family has been educated in a very countercultural fashion. They celebrate Noam Chomsky Day instead of Christmas. They view consumerism through Marxist eyes. There is a sense of anarchism, but they have developed a clear moral code. Ben seems to have no qualms about leading the family in a huge shoplifting spree at a grocery store, nor with giving them lethal weapons (even the youngest). They disrupt the funeral, but do so because Ben’s wife would not have wanted a service like this.

CAPTAIN FANTASTIC

The grandparents and other family all want what is best for the children—and so does Ben. The question is what will be best for them? Would it be better if they had been raised like their cousins who are constantly in front of screens and don’t know even the basic concepts that define America? If they had been raised in the world of McDonalds and Walmart, would they be as mentally and physically fit as they are? On the other hand, the oldest son, Bo (George MacKay) would like to go to college, but has no social skills, which becomes apparent when he connects with a girl at a campground. Is it possible to be outside of society and yet be a part of it?

The crisis for Ben comes when he discovers that he may have short-changed his children, even though he feels he has done the right thing all along. Perhaps, he comes to think, they would be better off with people who can care for them in other ways. He may even wonder if his ego is in the way of the well-being of his family. All these years he has believed that he has set his children first in all things. But what if he has been wrong?

Parenting is a challenge. Often we look around us and see what others do and think it must be right. New parents read the latest books on childrearing and resolve to try to form children into good people. For Ben and his wife, it seemed like another way would be best—would save their children from the corrupted world. So they tried to take them to an Eden. In the beauty of the natural world—with no screens or technology—they fashioned children that they thought would be prepared to live full and productive lives. Were they right? Are they the best parents ever or the worst? That is the question we ask ourselves at various times in the film. It is also the question that parents may often ask themselves over and over through the years.

Photos courtesy of Bleecker Street

Filed Under: Film, Reviews Tagged With: counterculture, Family, Frank Langella, George MacKay, Marxism, Matt Ross, Noam Chomsky, off the grid, parenting, shoplifting, Viggo Mortensen

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