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Divorce

Custody – A Child’s Pain in Divorce

July 13, 2018 by Darrel Manson Leave a Comment

Custody is a moving look at the pain that can come from a family disintegration—especially as that pain manifests in a child. Mariam (Léa Drucker) and Antoine (Denis Ménochet) are divorcing. The key issue to be decided is the custody arrangement for their son Julien (Thomas Gioria). Antoine has changed jobs to be close to Julien and be a part of his life. (A daughter, who is about to turn 18 and gain adulthood, is not included in the arrangements.) Mariam would just as soon have Antoine far away from her family. While the specter of physical abuse is alluded to, there is not compelling evidence to substantiate it. When the judge determines that she can’t tell “which of you is the bigger liar”, she grants joint custody with Antoine getting weekend visits.

Julien wants nothing to do with his father. When he is forced to go with him for a weekend, he is sullen and silent. Antoine may understand that it will take time to rebuild a relationship with his son, but he quickly becomes impatient and vindictive. This pushes Julien into a deeper sullenness. Mariam does what she can to try to protect Julien, but soon the relationships deteriorate. The film does a good job of letting our discomfort grow as things edge slowly to a violent climax.

To what extent to we consider the parent-child relationship sacrosanct? In the opening courtroom scene, as the judge listens to Antoine, Mariam, and their attorneys, Antoine’s case is that he desires to be a part of his son’s life and provide a fatherly role. It sounds good, but there are clouds even at this stage of the story that make us wonder if it is appropriate. One of those hints is the written statement by Julien in which he says he wants nothing to do with his father. After the judge reads the statement, it is essentially ignored—as children often are in society.

This film also brings forward the issue of domestic violence and the damage it does to families, especially when it remains hidden.

Photos courtesy of Kino Lorber

Filed Under: Film, Reviews Tagged With: Denis Ménochet, Divorce, Domestic Violence, French, Léa Drucker, Thomas Gioria

After Love: The Pain of Divorce

August 25, 2017 by Darrel Manson Leave a Comment

Divorce is a stressful time for all involved. After Love (French title: L’Économie du Couple) places us into a divorcing household in which those stresses are amplified. After fifteen years of marriage Boris and Marie are separating. They both love their twin daughters Margaux and Jade. Because Boris has little money, he cannot find a place of his own, so they are still all living together, although with rules (which aren’t always followed) about when each of them should be there. We aren’t given the reasons for the breakup, but we do see the struggles they have trying to bring things to an end.

This is a film that is upsetting to watch. The actors and script provide a very realistic sense of the pain this family is going through. Because we aren’t told the reasons, we have a difficult time assigning blame to either Boris or Marie, and so we don’t have a villain, only victims. Actually we see each having some bit of blame. Boris can be irresponsible and often is passive aggressive during arguments. Marie refuses some plans that could facilitate Boris achieving a firmer financial footing. Especially when it comes to financial issues, neither seems to want to give in to the other even though it would facilitate moving on.

I find the two titles to be interesting. They may seem totally different, but they are in fact complimentary. The English title reminds us that these two people were once in love, but for whatever reason that past love no longer binds them. The way they act towards each other is no longer loving. The French title is about more than just the economic issues that are complicating their divorce, it involves the whole system within the family which are built upon those issues. As the love fades, the underlying problems become more pronounced.

Because the pain the couple experiences is so evident in this film, it may be one that some viewers will avoid. But that pain is based in the reality of the situation. The loss of love within a marriage tears at the hearts of those who watch it. This film takes us through that pain without a sign of joy to come.

Filed Under: Film, Reviews Tagged With: Belgium, Divorce

Genius Ep. 7 – The Damage of Sin, Visualized   

June 8, 2017 by J. Alan Sharrer Leave a Comment

(National Geographic/Dusan Martincek)

Albert Einstein wasn’t in the greatest mood at the end of the sixth episode of Genius (Nat Geo; Tuesdays 9 PM/ 8 CT).  After seeing his life’s work on general relativity almost discredited due to an error on his part and his wife moving to Zurich with the kids, it’s easy to see why this might be the case. The question was a simple one: how would Albert react?

If you’ve watched the series thus far, the answer is a simple one: Albert simply plowed himself more and more into his work on the theory. He even went so far as to say, “General relativity is everything to me now . . . once I’ve solved it, the rest of life can rush in.” But he receives a surprise when he discovers a mathematician named David Hilbert (Adrian Edmondson) is trying to complete it first and claim credit for himself. Thus begins a rush to complete the computations . . . and Einstein loses the race.  However, Hilbert makes a mistake, allowing Einstein to correctly finish the theory.  There is even word a Nobel Prize could be in Albert’s future . . .

But director James Hawes reveals there are three other issues Einstein has to deal with.  One involves the other members of the Prussian Academy, who are asked by the German Army to sign a war manifesto committing them to helping the cause (see photo above). Everyone signs it . . . except Einstein. This becomes as issue when Fritz Haber (Richard Topol) creates a method to take out opposing forces using poison gas.  Einstein can’t justify Haber’s change of heart and has a falling out with him.  So does Haber’s wife, who kills herself.  Max Planck (Ralph Brown) lamented signing the manifesto when he discovers his son died on the battlefield.

The second issue involves Mileva.  It’s easy to see that Albert cares more about the kids more than her, but he still wants the divorce so he can finally be with his cousin Elsa. Mileva is incredibly stubborn, but she’s still trying to make ends meet for the kids by teaching piano (even though Albert is paying her monthly). Unfortunately, her health issues have caused Albert to visit—but the war is exacting its toll by closing the borders and denying Albert the visit.  Eduard is expecting his dad, but he never comes.

(National Geographic/Dusan Martincek)

A few years later, we see the long-awaited transformation of the characters to their older counterparts—Johnny Flynn gives way to Academy Award-winner Geoffrey Rush (Albert); Gwendolyn Ellis is replaced by Emily Watson (Elsa), and Samantha Colley’s fantastic portrayal of Mileva moves to Sally Dexter.  It gives Genius the feel that the events of the past have aged the main characters significantly (even if it feels jarring to the viewer).

Albert is finally able to get Mileva to agree to the divorce, but as he tells Elsa, “it comes at a high price.”  That price isn’t just in the form of money (including the significant sum earned if Albert was to win the Nobel Prize), but a permanent loss of seeing his kids.

Finally, Einstein’s theory is proven, but he has to deal with his own league of scientists, including Dr. Lennard, who, in the name of nationalism, attempt to discredit his work.  In a hilarious sequence, a major lecturer beats up on Einstein, not knowing Einstein is in the audience.  What the scientists will do next is for the final three episodes, but somehow Hitler will be involved . . .

One of the biggest takeaways of the episode involves the damages sin can cause.  The scientists’ decision to support the war effort resulted in significant loss of life—especially with Haber’s poison gas cloud.  Justifying that it saved lives still doesn’t diminish the fact that people were killed to make it happen. Haber lost his marriage (and his wife) in the process. Einstein also lost his marriage–and a whole lot more than he bargained for–as a result of his escapades. Even his cousin Elsa had to endure the humiliation and stigma of being singled out during the divorce proceedings by the judge. Sin can be hidden only for so long, but it will eventually be exposed (see Joshua 7 regarding Achan).  And the consequences can be significant.  It is best, as James 5:16 notes, to confess our sins to God (and others) so we can be restored.  After all, Jesus came to die and forgive us of all our transgressions to the Lord and others.  It doesn’t mean there won’t be aftereffects to deal with, but at least one’s consciousness can be cleansed for the future.

Filed Under: Current Events, Reviews, Television Tagged With: Achan, Divorce, Einstein, Elsa Einstein, Emily Watson, Fritz Haber, Genius, Geoffrey Rush, Gwendolyn Ellis, James, Johnny Flynn, Max Planck, Mileva Maric, National Geographic, Philip Lennard, Price of Sin, Relativity, Richard Topol, Samantha Colley, Science, sin, WWI

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