Sometimes, to find what you’re looking for, you need to pay for it.
Directed by Sook-Yin Lee, Paying For It tells the story of Sonny (Emily Le) and Chester (Daniel Beirne), a couple who are no more. As the film opens, Sonny explains that she has found the arms of another and she wants to ‘see where it goes’, leaving Chester feeling alienated. Shy and introverted, Chester decides to start sleeping with sex workers in order to satisfy his basic needs yet discovers a new kind of intimacy in the process.
In many ways, Paying for It is a brave piece from Lee. Although she may be using Chester’s book as a framework to explore sexuality, it’s Lee’s life that is also somewhat on display. To be clear, Sonny isn’t Sook-Yin. Brought to life by the delightful Le, Sonny is a character. But she’s also very real. These are events and feelings that she had herself and Paying feels as personal as it does professional. So, one must give Lee credit for writing from her heart as she attempts to offer understanding to Chester’s decisions.
There’s something beautiful about Sonny and Chester’s relationship in Paying that hits differently than other rom-coms. This isn’t a ‘will they/won’t they’ in the traditional sense. Instead, it’s a ‘they won’t’… but we are left to see how their relationship heals in the light of sexual differences. For Sonny, relationships are difficult but seem to be her driving goal. For Chester, sexual experience seems to be the goal. Perhaps it’s a way to protect himself emotionally. Perhaps it’s merely a chance to enjoy himself without the burden of commitment. Either way, Lee follows his journey with compassion and confidence as he learns what it means to have sexual freedom.
But, at its core, Paying for It is as much a quest for intimacy in the modern world as it is for sexual understanding. Chester’s journey with sex workers is handled with (mostly) delicate care. There are some who seek to judge him for doing things ‘differently’ yet Chester remains undeterred. To him, this has become a sexual science experiment. With each woman that he hires, he continues to explore what it is that makes sex so essential to his life experience. He enjoys sex. They’re offering it, for money. But why do others feel that this is wrong when it seems so right?
Through Chester’s unique perspective, Paying tackles the sexual experience as one that’s purely transactional. Though, to be fair, Chester would never say that it’s a ‘cold’ experience either. To him, it is simply an opportunity to participate in an activity that he enjoys with a willing partner who requires no commitment. He treats all of his women well and with respect, showing affection for them as people and not just products.
In this way, Lee attempts to paint sex workers with a brush of respect. In Paying, the only stigma attached to them is from outsiders. This is a film that allows them to share their perspectives about sexual freedom in the modern world. What they do with their bodies is their choice and they—well, most of them—are portrayed as confident women who feel no shame in their profession. (It should be argued that, despite its strengths, Payingdoesn’t entirely know how to handle young women who are being sexually trafficked. As one of the more serious social issues of the day, it seems to be glossed over here in favour of a more positive view of those who do so by their own volition.)
However, even in the midst of its exploration of sexual freedom, Paying is looking for the cost of living this way. Yes, Chester may be enjoying sex in his own way and his own time but it’s also clear that there’s somethingmissing from his experience. While he seems happy, he also seems to come alive when the opportunity for intimacy arises. Wisely, Lee’s film doesn’t simply empower the sexual profession. There’s a conversation taking place about what it really means to find joy in another person’s arms that extends beyond sexual pleasure.
In short, Paying knows that sex is fun but it also asks if that’s all one needs.
True connection with another person is shown to be more than an orgasm. There’s a sharing of souls that sparks something deeper. Though Paying never dissuades women who choose to offer themselves sexually, it also recognizes that intimacy stems from those who find ways to share the deepest parts of their soul.
There will be those who struggle to get past Paying’s premise but there’s also something both empowering and encouraging about a film such as this. In a world that wants to celebrate individual freedom, Paying does so while still acknowledging the benefit of something more.
Paying For It is available in theatres on Friday, January 31st, 2025.
