Sometimes, the world simply feels like it has it in for you.
Directed by Mary Bronstein, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You tells the story of Linda (Rose Byrne), a mother who spends her days treating patients as a counsellor and her nights treating a daughter who is suffering from severe illness. With her husband away in the military, Linda does everything she can to keep her life in balance. However, after her bedroom roof comes crashing down, so too does her life. Suddenly, Linda finds her world spinning out of control and she seeks earnestly for someone (or something) to become a stabilizing influence on her soul.
What makes Kick You such a fascinating piece is an absolutely stunning performance by Byrne. As Linda, Byrne offers some of the best work of her career. Broken by the mounting pressure, Linda is spiralling emotionally. In every scene, Byrne plays her as a woman who is constantly taken advantage of by others. Every decision that she makes in good faith is met with apparent violence from those in her care. From her clients to her daughter, Linda is consistently burdened with their ire, despite her well-meaning intent. In these moments, Byrne plays Lina with an increasingly fractured spirit. This is a cruel world and Linda is forced to take the brunt of its mercilessness on her own. (Even the young woman who works in the late-night convenience store seems to gives her nothing but indignation.)
In short, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is a fitting title.
Yet, in the midst of it all, Bronstein almost never takes the camera off of Byrne’s face. Throughout most of the piece, the screen lingers on her in close-up, highlighting every one of Byrne’s reactions. Even in moments when she isn’t speaking, she is communicating through her eyes and facial gestures. In this way, Bronstein wants us to recognize the difficulties of life when the world seeks to drive you into the mat. (And the plight of the family hamster becomes a great metaphor for Linda’s endless string of disasters.) It is as if we too are meant to feel every thought that enters her mind, creating a growing empathy for her character.
However, Byrne fuels Linda with such humility that one cannot help but support her. Faced with unrelenting pressure from all sides, Linda refuses to break. Even in her worst moments, she wants to be resilient and fights back no matter how often life pushes her down. For the sake of her daughter, she scratches and claws for every ounce of support.
But whether or not she can find any is another question entirely.
In Linda’s world, support is something that seems incredible difficult to find. Her daughter’s doctor demands her to follow their standards, even if her daughter struggles to comply. Her therapist keeps their relationship so professional that one almost screams for greater compassion. (Though, credit must be given to Conan O’Brien for delivering a delightful performance that keeps him from becoming a truly despicable character.) And then, of course, there’s her absentee husband who seems to care little for his wife’s struggles.
Even so, it’s also worth noting that it’s possible that Bronstein’s film might push the boundary too far as well. Don’t get me wrong. In every moment of this film, Kick You is a visceral experience that reminds us of the fragility of the human heart (and mind). Linda’s endless barrage of traumatic experiences is heart wrenching and shows the limits of human endurance.
Yet, without giving spoilers, the finale of Kick You remains a difficult experience. It’s not that the film wraps in an unsatisfactory way. As a critic, I’m perfectly accustomed (and content) with a film that chooses to sit in the obscurity of life and its darkness. However, the purpose of Linda’s journey throughout the film is the search for some form of hope to break through. And Bronstein’s narrative choices in the film’s final moments may leave the viewer feeling wanting (or, worse, feeling empty).
Having said this though, there’s no denying that the tour de force performance by Byrne is magnificent to behold. Every glare contains a wealth of information that draws the viewer into her emotional state. But one should know that Kick You is also a harrowing emotional experience that may leave you hurting, just like Linda.
If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is available in theatres on Friday, October 17th, 2025.
