Five years ago, if you told Alexander Nunez that one day he would create and write a series that would change how TV lovers consume Queer media, he may have believed you but it might have given him some anxiety. He describes his past self as being “keyed into the rat race of it all.” Burdened by the pressures and expectations as a new artist in the industry, he carried the weight of making a perfect impression or saying the right thing in career-defining meetings. But somewhere along the way, through great mentorship from admired peers and gaining more experience, something clicked. His obsession with perfection gave way to creative communion.“If this all crumbled and the industry imploded, I would still live and find a way to make my projects. I do want to have an impact, and I want to say something with the art that I am making, and that is all I care about. The industry and the business are not who I am, and I don’t have to worry so much.”

Enraptured by artistic enlightenment, he has channelled his energy into an incredible body of work. Nunez has been on a steady climb to greatness since 2017. He has appeared on successful projects like The Handmaid’s Tale, Kim’s Convenience, and The Bold Type. He has writing credits on This Hour Has 22 Minutes and Avocado Toast; in season two of Avocado Toast, he was moved up to a principal cast member while he continued to write for the series. Nunez has a long IMDB of impressive achievements, his latest being Settle Down. The series follows professional Matchmaker, Mason, as he attempts to balance his work life and shaky marriage. Like Mason, his friends slash colleagues are all having issues in their dating lives. Georgia, his unserious, wildly funny office assistant, is down bad for Devon, his take-no-shit second in command. Ben, Mason’s closest friend and hopeless romantic, will take as much shit as needed if it means someone loves him. And then there is Jarod, Mason’s devoted husband, doing everything he can to save their marriage. 

I would argue this show is a turning point in Nunez’s career, and I will not be surprised if it is the vehicle that takes him into larger entertainment markets. Layered with clever comedy and effortless vulnerability, Settle Down feels like you are watching six episodes of your favourite rom-com in your coziest pyjamas on a Friday night with your bestie. It is distinctly Toronto while capturing the nostalgia of TV classics like The Gilmore Girls or Broad City. Crafting an aesthetic atmosphere is not an easy task; it requires a deep understanding of the world you live in and then the skill of making that fictional universe feel tangible and alive.

“I’m a huge fan of comedy TV, so when I was crafting the concept initially, Insecure was a huge show that I loved. I never wanted to duplicate it, but the Idea of being unapologetically aspirational and putting these people in a comfortable setting to talk about one specific thing was really intriguing to me.” He explains.“The other inspiration was suspending disbelief. I binged Sex And The City, I loved that these women are living impossible lives. The math of Carrie Bradshaw having all these designer items on a writer’s budget didn’t matter,” he laughs. “I think Settle Down needed to have that, matchmaking is a romanticized job that Mason has, but it’s really just the vehicle for showing all these different complications in love. So, suspending disbelief and focusing on the neurotic relationship issues the characters are facing sort of set the tone for the show.”

At first glance, Settle Down might appear to be a stylish ensemble dramedy, but beneath its biting dialogue and sharp performances lies something more intricate: a psychological excavation of how we love. In 1961, Joan Didion published her iconic essay “On Self-Respect.” She argued that self-respect comes from the ability to face your reflection without flinching. It’s not about being liked, praised, or even understood by others—it’s about your own quiet agreement with the choices you’ve made. While speaking about character inspiration, Didion’s essay came to mind. Nunez revealed to me that 10% of him is in every character. His willingness to delicately unpack his mishaps in love throughout his life into five uniquely different characters is another reason why the series feels so safe and welcoming. He invites the viewer to love yourself in spite of yourself. 

“I’ve always felt Mason was me in an alternate universe where I had not learned the idea of introspection,” he laughs.“For Ben, his major issue is anxious attachment. I know what it’s like to be a person who thinks –I can fix him! I know you cheated on me, but that’s fine, it’s gonna be okay. I felt that was a part of me at 21.” He reflects. “Georgia is a bit of me because they have a bit of mask on, she fronts a bit in relationships because she wants to be this kind of fuck girl. She’s all about moving on and doesn’t have time for a relationship, but, like, she does! And I felt that era in my life, too. Devon is similar in a way because she really cares about her image. It was an intentional choice that she didn’t hang out with the others outside of work because she had very clear boundaries. It’s also just a fear of intimacy. And Jarod, well, he is my heart.”

Attachment issues as the narrative’s core was inspired by his natural affinity to understanding people and his experience in university, claiming that a lot of his perspectives on dating were formed there. “I also come from a family of very eccentric people,” he smiles.“So psychology was a bit of a no-brainer for me, but I just loved reading about attachment theory. It’s fluid, and you can learn yourself out of certain issues, while some things will stick with you for life. I remember when I started learning about this topic, I was convinced I had a secure attachment style.” He pauses.“And then the pandemic happened! And you’re stuck in your condo for a year with your partner, and things come up. I learned I was a lot more avoidant in conflict than I thought I was, so I wanted to look into myself. It felt very natural to include the basic tenets of attachment theory in the show.”

There is an intentional richness to the series, a commitment to showing queerness not as a monolith, but as a kaleidoscope of lived experiences. As much as the show isn’t afraid to tackle the ugliest parts of attachment, it also doesn’t shy away from addressing taboo topics. In episode three, titled “First Date Jitters,” Devon and Georgia are tasked with coupling Likkle Nasty, a toxic-masculine, closeted, black, gay rapper with proudly open R&B singer, Wade Gomez. If they don’t succeed, Nasty, AKA Terrance, will sue them into oblivion. The episode is one of the seasons best and laugh out loud funny, but the material is serious. Homophobia, hypermasculinity and misogyny in the black community is a vicious, intertwined triangle that often leads to violence against both men and women. Gay black me are often labeled as a threat to what “real masculinity” should be which leads to a lot of shame and struggle for them. In a tender conversation with Wade, Nasty struggles to face his internalised homophobia and doubles down on his overcompensation to prove he is not gay. Finally breaking down, he admits the pressure from his labels expectations of him and his fear of losing his career are why he’s so committed to the bit. It is a beautiful scene, expertly written by Nunez, that captures a dangerous reality many closeted men face: the fear of being abandoned for who they are.

There are many well-executed complex topics throughout the show that don’t overwhelm audiences with their serious undertones. I wondered if Nunez felt a sense of responsibility as a writer and queer writer when approaching these narratives.“Yes and no,” he reflects.“There were so many things from an intersectional perspective to think about. The one thing I knew for sure is that I wanted to show to be ethnically diverse because it’s based in Toronto and statistically people of colour don’t often get the opportunity to star in things. I also wanted it to be something I would watch but we were mindful about certain stereotypes and we had a lot of conversations and reworked scenes we felt might be outdated. I just had to go in with the mindset that it just has to be funny to me and I can’t think about what people would say.” Nunez does acknowledge the anxieties and expectations as a queer writer making queer art, but he maintains that in order to do great work, you can’t get lost in those feelings.“It’s always hard as a queer person making queer content because you always feel there is a sort of checklist of things that other people expect you to get done. Not just from the queer community but from the powers that give you the funding. There is a pressure for it to be queer content but also appeal to a wider market and I feel that is when shows fail or will disappoint you from a representation perspective. We just had to make a show that was really personal to us and that we would watch without having to explain the queer component of it all.”

Speaking of reworking scenes, one that has gotten the biggest response is Ben’s horrifying birthday threesome with his partner, Angelo. The discourse it has sparked online is reflective of the generational difference between Gen-Z and Millennials in the queer community. Nunez can’t help but smile and join me in our shared frustration with Ben’s choices in that scene. “Stand up for yourself, Ben!” He laughs.“Without seeing the full context of that episode, one piece of discourse was what does that scene say about open relationships or polyamory? But we were very careful in writing that scene; the idea wasn’t to attack these communities, it was really about showing the lack of communication between Ben and Angelo.”

“I also believe we need to let people be creative again. I feel like it’s a tough time in the economy, and we are scared to invest in projects that are more edgy or more creative. But these are the things that succeed at the end of the day, you don’t get by making things that are safe.”

The experience of creating Settle Down hails back to 2016, after five years of working on the script and not abandoning his vision. For Nunez, the most rewarding aspect has been the collaboration he had with his team and cast. “I love collaboration! The only reason I wrote all the episodes by myself is because of budget. In early development, we didn’t have a lot of money. The minute we were able to get our key department heads in and our cast, we were able to put all our ideas together. I was able to watch the cast add some of the best ad-libs I’ve ever seen. To work with people I really love and admire and knowing they had as good a time with me as I had with them lit a fire under me and made me excited to do more.”

Outside of serving as the creator and writer of Settle Down, Nunez also steps into the role as Mason, the series lead who has an ice box where his heart used to be. Okay, not really. Although frustrating, Mason’s arc is the saddest of them all. He has everything a person could dream of, a solid career, a husband who loves and supports him and great friends, but he sabotages all of it. Deep down, a part of him believes he’s worthy of none of it. What makes Nunez so real, is despite creating the layered character who was mildly inspired by his own journey, even he’s tired of Mason’s nonsense.“He pisses me off,” we laugh. Could he be friends with him I wonder? He pauses “No.” There is something charming about writer who can join in on the camaraderie of art they create.“There are specific things about Mason that me go – dude? The episode where he sneaks out on Jarod to go to work,” he shakes his head in disbelief.“Our crew were shocked by his actions, wondering how he could even do that to him.” Reflecting back on the original question- could he be friends with Mason? “Maybe I could.” He’s still not sure about his statement.“I’m a gemini, nothings black or white to me but Mason is tough. I was heavy into Veep when writing this series, Selina Meyer was just so unapologetically unlikable and was willing to say whatever terrible thought she had in her head, she was a bit of inspiration for Mason’s character.” At this point it’s obvious, Nunez, like the rest of us, secretly loves Mason. In a way, we have to have empathy for this flawed character because at one point in our lives, we have all battled with low self worth that cost us important people or opportunities. But even with this knowledge, Nunez feels, Mason needs some tough love.“I think his downfall is rightly deserved, he isn’t comfortable with intimacy or himself and he blows up his life because of it. It was really important for me to get across the idea that he isn’t gaslighting Jarod on purpose. He is just in the dark about his own inner workings an he cannot get in his head the idea that he is not being fair to his husband. You as a viewer are not inclined or even encouraged to be on his side because he is so often wrong.”

Whatever audiences feel, Settle Down has clearly struck a chord. The online response has been vocal, passionate and unanimous in one particular plea: viewers want a season two. Nunez, though tight lipped, offers some hope to viewers. “Nothing is confirmed yet. As of right now Charlie and I are really determined to make it happen. What I can say is that we are in development for season two.” As for what’s next, Nunez remains open-hearted but intentional. There’s more story to tell and he hopes the industry will learn a few lessons from the series. “It’s not enough to give marginalised creators a budget and to greenlight their project, you have to be able to let them tell their stories the way they want. I think sometimes there is a confusion between helping artists structure their projects a certain way that serves them and tweaking their work to cater to broader audiences. I also believe we need to let people be creative again. I feel like it’s tough time in the economy and we are scared to invest in projects that are more edgy or more creative. But these are the things that succeed at the end of the day, you don’t get by making things that are safe.”

And that is the quiet brilliance of Settle Down, it’s not afraid to be its own universe, rooted in the specific rhythms and textures of Toronto’s queer culture. Nunez’s earned wisdom doesn’t play it safe, and he doesn’t pander as an artist. Instead, he trusted his instincts and didn’t break under industry expectations. The result? A Canadian queer classics that ushers audiences into a new era where queer stories are no longer boxed in by traumas or tropes, but grounded in their shared relatability and humanity.

You can watch Season 1 of Settle Down now on OutTV on Prime Video