ScreenFish

where faith and film are intertwined

sex worker

How to Please a Woman – An intimate comedy

?I?m not sure I know how to please a woman.?

?If you can say that, you?re a better man than most.?

How to Please a Woman, written and directed by Ren?e Webster, is a risqu? comedy about women being given a voice in their own lives. In the process it exposes some of the unspoken societal differences between expectations of men and women. It also opens possibilities for better understanding of the meaning of intimacy.

Gina (Sally Phillips) is turning fifty. Her job is being given to a younger, more buxom woman. Her husband is dispassionate and distant. For her birthday, one of her friends hires Tom (Alexander England), a male sex worker who offers two hours of whatever Gina wants. She asks him to clear her house, which he does with his shirt off.

Alex England as TOM & Sally Phillips as GINA, How To Please A Woman – Photograph by David Dare Parker

When she finds out Tom?s day job is a moving company she knows is being liquidated, she buys the company thinking she can revitalize it by offering beefcake housecleaning as a side hustle. Women love the idea, but soon they want more than just beefcake. The business evolves into one in which ?the cleaning must be effective and there must be a minimum of one orgasm.? Obviously, some training will be needed?in both aspects of the job. Also, it requires Gina to interview the women booking the service in order to understand what each wants and needs. It also makes Gina look at her own unhappiness and come to terms with her own needs and desires.

There is a certainly a reversal of roles in this story. It?s not just that the sex workers (and housecleaners) are men. It is also a recognition that women are sexual beings. Housework in the film represents the oppression that ties women to the home?even if they have another job. To have men do their expected work frees the women to enjoy other parts of their life (here, a sex life).

Ryan Johnson as ANTHONY, Josh Thomson as BEN, Alex England as TOM & Erik Thomson as STEVE, How To Please A Woman – Photograph by David Dare Parker

There is also some insight into the sexual nature of male privilege. When Gina mentions to her workers that at lease one orgasm is required, one of the men asks if his orgasm doesn?t mean at least two. But he?s told his orgasm doesn?t matter. Women have often been given that idea about their own satisfaction.

One scene that struck me as exemplifying the gender differences is when Gina is being questioned in a police station (she doesn?t have a license to operate a sex business), the male police officers have a hard time understanding the concept. But the women officers are filling the room to watch the interview?all with smiles.

It should be pointed out that prostitution is by its nature prone to abuses. This film does not address those dangers. But it does at times allow us to see the objectification that often takes place between people, especially in sexual situations. However, the story tries to move past that objectification to make a point that intimacy requires knowing what another person wants.

Hayley McElhinney as HAYLEY, Tasma Walton as MONIQUE, Sally Phillips as GINA & Caroline Brazier as SANDRA, How To Please A Woman – Photograph by David Dare Parker

It is here that Gina?s discovery of her own needs comes into play. Steve (Eric Thomson), the former owner of the company, isn?t comfortable doing the sex work. He stays around to keep things orderly. Being the same age as Gina, the two seem a natural match, except for their marriages. But they are also both essentially alone. They too will learn that listening and openness is what makes for intimacy and joy.

How to Please a Woman is in select theaters and coming soon to VOD.

Photos courtesy of Brainstorm Media,

Tiger Within – Choosing Not to Hate

?I think God gives everyone the same gift. Most people don?t unwrap the gift.?

Rafal Zielinski?s Tiger Within is a study of brokenness, fear, hatred, wisdom, forgiveness, and healing. It is the story of two very different people who manage to find a connection they both need to survive.

Casey (played by the 14 year old Margot Josefsohn) is a 14 year old punk runaway who has come to L.A. to live with her father, who obviously is more interested in his new family. She quickly loses everything she has (except her swastika emblazoned jacket) on the streets. Samuel (the nonagenarian Ed Asner) is a holocaust survivor, now all alone in the world. His days are empty, except for the bitterness that remains towards everyone.

Their first encounter takes place in the Jewish cemetery where Samuel has gone to visit his wife?s grave. On the way out he sees Casey curled up asleep?seeing only the back of her jacket with the swastika. After he walks away, he returns and waits for her to awaken. They begin a very tentative conversation. Casey is wary of what Samuel wants. He buys her food and takes her to his apartment so she can shower and sleep. His acts of kindness make only a crack in her defenses.

Some time later, we find Casey working at a massage parlor (yes, that kind of massage parlor), and living in a cheap motel. When Samuel runs across her again, they continue to talk. They make a deal. She can live with him if she goes to school and removes the swastika from her jacket. It gives Casey a place that is safe, and it give Samuel a chance to act as a parent. (He lost his daughters in the Holocaust.) The bond they build sustains them, but it is also very fragile.

We might wonder why Samuel would create that first encounter and why he would struggle to make a bond with this girl who was so different and so difficult. He tells her that it was because he made a promise to his wife?to stop hating. And by focusing on not hating Casey, perhaps he?d learn to not hate everything else.

The film touches upon a number of issues of import. One of those is holocaust denial. When Samuel and Casey first meet, she tells him that her mother has taught her that the Holocaust is a lie. Polls have recently found that many young people either don?t know of or don?t believe the facts about the Holocaust. In a world where racial hatred and neo-Nazis have become more visible and vocal, it is wrong to remain silent.

Another issue in the film is that of young sex workers. As a runaway, about the only job available for Casey is a clandestine job providing ?happy endings?. What strikes us in this story is that even though she has been a sex worker, she is terrified of a boy in school asking her for a date. She?s never had a date. She never been kissed. That cross of innocence and repugnance help us see a bit of the humanity of sex workers.

The big issue is forgiveness?not an easy thing for anyone. Samuel?s bitterness towards the world has an obvious source in the Holocaust. He lost his family. That Casey would think it never happened is appalling to him. To welcome Casey into his life is obviously a challenge.

Casey has much to forgive as well. Neither her mother nor her father wants anything to do with her. She doesn?t fit in with anyone around her. She is victimized in various ways. She has had no real love in her life.

Yet, it is not so much the objects of their bitterness and hatred that is the real focus of forgiveness. Before either can move on to a better life, they must first forgive themselves.

Film credits are often ignored when they come on the screen. The credits for this film are worth noting. The first of the closing credits are ?special thanks for all the words of wisdom from? a variety of spiritual advisors, including Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Native American, and Buddhist. (There are videos of these advisors on the film?s website under ?Forgiveness?.)

Tiger Within is available on virtual cinema through local arthouses.

Photos courtesy Film Art Planet.

Kiki – Community for the Marginalized

?When someone steps on to the ballroom floor, they?re not just competing in categories. They?re telling a story. Someone who walks says, ?I am beautiful. This is who I am. I?m lovely no matter what you say, what you think. I?m beautiful.??

The LGBT community is far more diverse than we may usually think. One subculture within that broader community is voguing, which combines expressive dance, elaborate costumes, and a ton of attitude. In New York City, young LGBT people of color may take part in the Kiki scene. This has been chronicled by Sara Jorden? in her Spirit Award nominated (for ?Truer than Fiction?) documentary Kiki.

For those unfamiliar with voguing, you might want to think of it as ?So You Think You Can Dance? through the lens of a Gay Pride parade. The film takes us into some of the Kiki balls, where various ?houses? compete amidst a raucous revelry. The houses are in one sense teams, but they often serve as a kind of surrogate family. The heads of the houses are often called Mother and Father. This grows out of the marginalization that many LGBT people have had to deal with through their lives. Within these houses each person can find acceptance for who they are.

The diversity of the community is seen in the various people we meet. They each have their own story and find themselves on their own spot on the sexuality spectrum. We discover the labels we apply don?t always fit the way we think they should. (This is one of the reasons that Q [Queer] is often added on the LGBT. It signifies that the gender identification of some doesn?t quite fit the categories of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, or Transgender.) Some of those we meet have stories of rejection, others have been accepted by their families, but still feel like outsiders in the world at large.

The film also takes time to highlight stories that continue to be important in the LGBT community, even as acceptance has grown through the years. Homelessness, HIV, and sexual exploitation in term of sex workers continue to be some of the things young LGBT people face as they try to find their way in a world that is often hostile to them. The community that has grown up around the Kiki balls is for some a lifeboat in a stormy sea. The voguing scene is not just about providing expression to marginalized people. It also provides community action that seeks to address some of the issues being faced.

For many outside this community, the extremes of dress and sexualized behavior may be disconcerting and perhaps even repellant. But the community that has been formed in the process is one that provides nurture, safety, and stability for many.

Photos courtesy of IFC Films